Carnations for a Cause: More Than a Century Later, Mother’s Day Continues to Symbolize Empathy Toward One and All

“Mother Mary is the safest, easiest, shortest, and most perfect way to reach Jesus,” said St. Louis de Montfort. So, anytime you find yourself in trouble, Mother Mary will ‘come to you, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.’ Mother is the fulcrum of her children’s world. She should be celebrated every day. She brought her offspring into this world — my son said after his sister had a baby, “She made a human!” All children unconsciously love their mothers – there is no answer to ‘why do you love your mother?’  They just do! And, most mothers would walk on tightropes for their offspring. Based on this truisms, we celebrate Mother’s Day. 

Mother’s Day’s modern roots are credited to Anna Jarvis (top photo). After her mother, Ann’s death in 1905,  Jarvis wanted to set up a day to honor all mothers. She chose the second Sunday in May, the anniversary of her mother’s death, as the day of veneration. She started the movement in Virginia, and in 1908, the first celebration was held at Andrew’s Methodist Episcopal Church. In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson (after her frenzied letter writing) signed a bill recognizing Jarvis’ idea as a national holiday to be celebrated on the second Sunday in May. 

However, before Jarvis, Julia Ward Howe had aimed to promote a Mothers’ Peace Day in 1870. For her and the anti-war activists who agreed with her position, including Jarvis’ mother, the idea of Mother’s Day should spread unity across the globe in the wake of so much trauma following the Civil War in America and the Franco-Prussian War in Europe. Howe called for women to gather once a year in parlors, churches, or social halls, to listen to sermons, present essays, sing hymns, or pray if they wished. She wanted mothers to promote peace. These noble ideas were cast aside, and Mother’s Day in America became a commercial enterprise. Anne Jarvis had opposed this in her lifetime, and it was a losing battle. Her noble purpose was transmogrified.

Mother’s Day turning out to be more than a billion-dollar enterprise is unremarkable because most children want to do something for their moms, and this holiday gives them guidelines. There are two points here —a mother’s primary responsibility is to provide for her children; enterprises like florists or small businesses, that sell enough to earn money for their family’s needs, are given the succor they need. “Mother is pleased.”

If we were to work with Howe’s original idea of mothers standing for peace, would that be such a bad idea in 2025? During the Civil War, Howe wrote a poem, The Battle Hymn of the Republic, which became the unofficial anthem for the Union army.

Secondly, in America, many avenues of work and leisure take attention away from the primary family. Mother’s Day is a virtual listening day to Mothers, and this listening improves the mother-child bond.  In Italy, Mother’s Day is a day of gratitude; families come together to enjoy each other’s company and to thank the person who made it possible. In America, Mother’s Day has more razzle-dazzle with an inflated display of ‘love.’ 

The existence of Mother warrants red or pink carnations. If she is dead, white carnations are placed for her. Carnations were Jarvis’ mother’s favorite flowers. Looking through Mother’s Day gift bouquets, it appears that other flowers have jostled into the game —roses, tulips, and orchids all are standing up for Mother’s Day. (According to The Washington Post, cut flowers negatively impact the environment due to factors like carbon emissions from long-distance transportation, chemical use in production, and water consumption.)   

If we were to work with Howe’s original idea of mothers standing for peace, would that be such a bad idea in 2025? During the Civil War, Howe wrote a poem, The Battle Hymn of the Republic, which became the unofficial anthem for the Union army. She wanted to preserve the Union. She was an abolitionist and a staunch supporter of women’s rights.  While she worked on pure milk for babies, she also worked for world peace. She started her work in her local community and expanded her voice to promote world peace. 

 In America in 2025, we need mothers to take inspiration from Howe. Beyond their family and community, they could train their gaze on the world.  In Indian philosophy, particularly within Hinduism, the concept of ‘Mother’ extends beyond the familial to encompass the divine feminine and the earth; she is the one who nurtures, but she can be firm in disciplining a masculine world.  

Our world needs a mother today. Many people are down on their knees, crying.  They need a mother for comfort and protection. They need mothers to organize against violence, direct, structural, and cultural. These mothers need to examine the origins of their world views, their interpretive lens.  They will realize the importance of their interpretation and the truth of diverse normative claims. There may not be objective truths for mothers, but they will develop empathy to understand how others, including their children, can hold an opinion different from their own. The practice of this empathy makes our human agency flip the coin from violence to peace. The hand that rocks the cradle can rule a peaceful world –at least, this is our aspiration this Mother’s Day.

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Piyali Ganguly is the CEO of Pia Ka Ghar, a California company. The mission of PKG is to make someone’s next day a little bit better, be it dogs or people anywhere in the world. Piyali is a History Major from Presidency College, Calcutta and University of California at Irvine. Currently, she studies Religious Literacy at a Harvard University program. She’s an avid reader and writes poetry.