The Unbearable Lightness of Swiping Right: How Dating Apps and Hookup Culture Have Made Us Averse to Meaningful Relationships
- The challenges people face between love marriage vs arranged marriage look trivial now. A lot of people, both on the east and west side of the world, seem inclined towards having multiple partners at the same time.
Dating nowadays is more difficult than jumping out of an airplane. The chances of surviving are higher in skydiving than thriving in a relationship. Dating has become a very fragile affair — one mistake or one misunderstanding can simply end the relationship within days. There is zero space for rectification, zero tolerance for any differences and no patience between the couples. With so many options available, people have become indecisive. They would prefer having a relationship with no obligation, no formalities, or any social or financial, or legal limitations.
The dating apps have shrunk the world even more. With so many options available with a swipe of a button, needing not much effort, or any investment, people are opting for more casual relationships than committed ones. People have become more promiscuous than ever. Terms like friends with benefits, no strings attached, platonic relationships have become more common in dating. This has no relevance to the fact if the person is married or divorced or single.
The challenges people face between love marriage vs arranged marriage look trivial now. A lot of people, both on the east and west side of the world seem inclined towards having multiple partners at the same time. Part of it is because, in today’s influencer culture, the need for instant gratification, requiring validation and the ability to fill the emotional void has led to fragile relations leaning more toward a modern-day version of polygamy. It is becoming extremely hard to find a serious relationship with the hookup culture treating people as disposable commodities.
The people I meet now-a-days are already in the state of mind to not commit or think of long-term partnership or marriage. They want someone to be there with no obligation to legally get into a contract of marriage.
The noncommittal, flaky, and confused nature has made people indecisive to even tag their partners as husband/wife. While people are dating multiple individuals at the same time, tagging them as boyfriend/girlfriend places pressure of showcasing them as exclusive to society. Social media is making it even worse where they don’t want to share a picture with their significant other in an effort to leave room for another/better opportunity.
The measure of success in life is based on not just the technologies we introduce but how we achieve mental and physical well-being along with the relationships we build over time. With the dysfunctional relations around us, people are willing to stay single rather than go through the trouble of heartbreak.
In the coming years, we will need to redefine dating, change the way dating apps work and re-work on new dating experiences. To kindle a spark, swiping left or right will not help. A basic chat may not help. A deeper engagement, even if it’s virtual but facilitating binge-watching together, putting more interesting questionnaires to understand the thought process, adding games and other interactive alternatives can be added to connect with people.
Finding your significant other should not be out of fear or make you feel cringy. Instead, you need to feel more comfortable with the person’s presence. Today, people are looking for an escape hatch within 3 weeks, even before the relationship has started. The relation is already tagged as open or casual to not restrict or put boundaries. Everyone is now looking for space to a point that staying single looks much easier. But the consequences are going to be evident soon enough in the coming years when people may end up depressed, anxious and suicidal while being single and lonely.
The people I meet nowadays are already in the state of mind to not commit or think of long-term partnership or marriage. They want someone to be there with no obligation to legally get into a contract of marriage. This has led many couples to get into issues like insecurities, lack of faith and trust, infidelity, and also have the urge to have multiple partners leading to confusion and insanity. This might be a wake-up call for the generation to change the outlook on dating. Rest, time will tell.
Mansi Mehra is a standup comedian based in Los Angeles, California. She has performed more than 200+ shows around the United States including shows with Abhishek Upmanyu, Zakir Khan, etc. She has shared the stage with several international comedians including Maz Jobrani, Margaret Cho, Amir K and many more. She has hosted shows across the United States with artists like Javed Akhtar, Ayushmann Khurrana, Jonita Gandhi. In 2011, she was a Hindi Radio Jockey in L.A. In 2019, she won two pageants — Miss India USA National 2019 in Charlotte, North Carolina and Miss Exuberant Spirit 2019 in Beverly Hills, California. She graduated from the University of Southern California (USC) in Computer Science Engineering. She believes in giving back to the community and has been involved with several non-profit organizations like OC India Association, CRY America (OC chapter), VIBHA Los Angeles, Soroptimist International Los Angeles (SILA) and many more. Website: www.mansimehra.com Instagram: @Machchar