Postponed Vows: How I Have Learned to Appreciate My Relationships Better
It was almost mid-April when we decided to move our May 30 wedding to later in the year. As the pandemic was growing and affecting more lives daily, we knew we had to assess the situation to decide whether we could continue with our original date. In March, we didn’t know if the virus would continue this treacherous journey or if it would slow down. We wanted to believe that it wouldn’t affect our wedding, but of course we were wrong. Once we realized that things weren’t going to calm down and vendors wouldn’t be able to prepare for the wedding, we had to postpone starting our lives together.
My fiancé, Shawn, and I are Malayali Christians. One of the first things we had to tackle in rescheduling our wedding was our vendors, the church and the reception venue. We were aware that this was an unprecedented situation for all. However, we were pleasantly surprised at how accommodating our vendors were. Dealing with a wedding crowd of 600+ people, our venue provided a few date options, of which we were able to choose our new wedding date. Luckily, we were able to retain all of the major vendors.
Through this journey, there is an overwhelming feeling of uncertainty at every step of the planning process. We didn’t want to completely cancel all festivities if there was a hope for future reception this year. Once Shawn and I made this decision to postpone our wedding, our families were extremely helpful in informing all of our guests. At this point, if November 2020 is still not safe for us to gather, we will move forward with our wedding ceremony with an intimate group and postpone the reception.
Moving our wedding date will not only allow us to circumvent the dangers of gathering with so many people, but it also gives us more time to work with our vendors to finalize all details of the wedding. Since most of the businesses began shutting down around the end of March, there were still a few small details of the wedding preparations that had to be taken care of.
Planning a wedding is already stressful, but as all 2020 couples know, the pandemic has added a whole new variety of problems to evaluate and consider. Speaking to other couples going through the same thing has been helpful as they truly understand.
Additionally, we’ve been focusing on a greater perspective — cherishing our families and health. With the death of a close family member due to COVID, we instinctively prioritized our family.
Spending time with our loved ones was the ultimate reward — we are grateful for the blessings we have. We have put things in perspective to focus on what matters — relationships and family. There is no doubt that a wedding is one of the most important days of your life, but you can celebrate your relationships and your partner in so many other ways. Friends and co-workers have been a support through this as well.
Ultimately we put trust in God and know that eventually it will all work out, regardless of whether the new plan matches our original plan.
Christine Joseph, 25, is a pharmacist at Pfizer, Inc. and her fiancé, Shawn Sam, 25, works for the corporate development team at Footlocker, Inc. They live on Long Island, New York, and have been together for almost six years after meeting in college.