Even Though the America I Arrived in Three Decades Ago is in Peril, I Believe the Struggle for a ‘Perfect Union’ Will Prevail
- While some want to “white” wash the history of this land, by sanitizing, rewriting and erasing, it is only possible in the abstract.
This July 4th would be my 32nd Independence Day in this country, and I can say with a sense of accomplishment, I have come a long way. Not just in terms of geographical distance, but in personal growth.
I went to college here, started a career, a family, acquired property, a work ethic and began to understand the world in all its complexity from a vantage point that I could only have gotten here. For this I am grateful and indebted to this land that I adopted as my home away from home.
I had to leave India to understand and appreciate what it truly means to be free, in every sense of the word. To be free to express my thoughts and ideas without fear and retribution. To be able to read any book and watch any film I desired without censorship. To wear what I like, feel what I feel, and practice what I desire without judgment or care from anyone.
America gave me a passport to travel the world and find my place in it. In this sense America lived up to its promise of freedom. It taught me that dissent is the most patriotic quality one can inhabit. Which I shall cherish and fight for with everything I got.
While there have been many moments where I felt welcome here, there have been others when my appearance and accent got in the way. I have had eggs thrown at me and told to go back where I came from a few times. I shrugged it off as ignorant people spewing hate not knowing their history.
I came to this land seeking rock and roll and all that Hollywood movies had sold to me as a young person. At 22 I wanted to change my scenery, seek something exciting, an adventure, anything that would get me out of my parochial well, was a constant desire. To meet people from around the world was a strong craving.
I was born into some privilege but not a lot. My parents owned a house, had a car and a business but were not rich by any means. My father mortgaged his property to buy me a one-way ticket and put a few hundred dollars in my pocket. To not succeed was not an option.
I descended into America in the cover of night onto the proverbial American college campus in Ohio and the rest is history. When I became a citizen, it was a moment of ambivalence. As America had launched an unprovoked illegal war on Iraq and as a taxpayer, I wanted no part in the killing that ensued. And then I had to endure the embarrassment of having George W. Bush’s signature on my citizenship certificate.
Now as a middle-aged man, having spent enough time here making and watching films and reading the history of this land and its controversial evolution from 1776 to 2026, I can say with fortitude that I belong here.
In the last 30 years America gave to the world the internet, the mobile phone, the Covid Vaccine and has eradicated diseases and done remarkable humanitarian work via USAID, which as an American, has made me beam with pride.
I felt most at home when Barack Obama became president, as he, at least visually, embodied to me the true promise of this land, one that was not stifled by race. Until then I had accepted that citizenship and privilege was the property of white men to give or withhold at their discretion. One had to live up to be a “model citizen” in their eyes, to get this award to stay and stake a claim to all the milk and honey America had to offer. Even though it was not theirs to give or take in the first place.
Many come to America to acquire wealth and indulge in unabashed consumption and think a hefty bank balance can make one, white adjacent and help reap the benefits that come with it. Silicon Valley spawned a gold rush in that endeavor, spawning CEOs and mansions for those who bought into this ruse. The nativism and rabid racism that has emerged around the country recently, has made it abundantly clear, how deep the “colorlines” run.
The eight years of Obama were probably an anomaly whose repercussions are being felt swift and hard today, as white nationalists occupy the seat of power. Now as a middle-aged man, having spent enough time here making and watching films and reading the history of this land and its controversial evolution from 1776 to 2026, I can say with fortitude that I belong here. This land is my land. Like every immigrant who has come here since 1776, I have paid my dues. This is as much my nation as anyone else’s. Except probably the natives who were here before the commencement of their extermination. And the Supreme Court reaffirmed this inalienable right to me and my children, instilling hope in these dark times.
As America marks a moment on the human calendar this 4th of July, it is but a blink, for there are nations that have stood for thousands of years and have grappled with their history and the meaning of what it is to be a nation to their people. America is still a baby, and like a baby is struggling to find its feet.
While some want to “white” wash the history of this land, by sanitizing, rewriting and erasing, it is only possible in the abstract. The people in power today want to take us back to apartheid and diminish the hard-fought battles for civil rights, which allowed people like me and my skin tone to come here.
One can remove exhibits from museums that tell the truth, have state fairs that celebrate a vanilla America, threaten diversity, deport people of a certain color and creed, wrap one’s hatred in religion, use violence as the primary mode of indoctrination, pray on people’s outrage and innate tribal desires, but one cannot airbrush reality, as the only way forward, is always forward.
So, while I am grateful to America for making me the thinking man that I am today, I will not be celebrating the 250th anniversary of this piece of reconfigured earth with the enthusiasm I would have otherwise liked to. As I believe the America I arrived in three decades ago is in peril. There is a dark cloud rising over the horizon and the flag is flying upside down in my heart and in my mind.
Yet, I believe America will endure, and the work that has been done thus far to make it a “perfect union”, will overcome all adversity.
Anand Kamalakar is a Brooklyn based documentary film director, producer and editor. He is currently directing a film on Silicon Valley pioneer Adam Osborne, which will be shown on PBS in 2026 as part of Independent Lens.