Where Are the Magic Words: Is Saying ‘Trick-or-Treat’ a Lost Etiquette?
- Have we failed as a society to teach this simple age-old tradition to our next generation?
What is up with kids not saying “Trick-or-treat” anymore? They show up at your door, silently stick out their Halloween buckets, and wait for you to do the needful — whether that’s distributing the candy yourself, or sticking out the oversized bowl with the undersized treats.
As the kids stood there in front of me, peering to see what kind of candy I was giving, I asked “What are the magic words?”
Confused, one responded, “Please?”
“Thank you?”
“Happy Halloween!”
No!! It’s TRICK-OR-TREAT! Where have we failed as a society to teach this simple age-old tradition to the next generation?!?!
As if they don’t lack enough human interaction as it is in their lives, homes now leave out bowls of candy with the signage “Pls take 1,” or “Take 2” for the more generous homes. As if ANY kid with a right mind is going to listen to that directive. I’ve had a full gallon bowl of candy swiped clean in the time I trick-or-treated the two houses next door.
Leaving the bowl outside is a practical solution for those families who are actually out trick-or-treating themselves. I commend the creation of that much-needed solution. But I suspect that it has also become an easy escape for those who don’t want to answer their door 50x in one night, or heaven-forbid, interact with children.
Covid has undoubtedly played a big role in this. Several of our elementary school-aged trick-or-treaters likely experienced their first Halloween in 2020, when there were barely any homes serving candy. If there were, they had devised (sometimes very innovative) ways of socially-distanced distribution. From 2021 onwards, it became socially acceptable to leave candy out, instead of person-to-person distribution.
My plea to folks opening their homes to Halloween treats next year — please make the effort to answer your door! Interact with the enthusiastic, sometimes shy, kids, who are learning to put themselves out there and to speak to strangers in a safe environment. Even better, sit out by the front door, have a friend join, enjoy snacks/beverages, plan scary pranks for the older kids if you’re so inclined … make an evening out of it! Halloween is a rare, truly fun American holiday (as opposed to Thanksgiving, which is reminiscent of the violent genocide of the Native Americans). Find your inner child, and make Halloween yours.
Antara Bhardwaj is a Kathak artist and filmmaker based in Mountain View, California, where she lives with her husband and son. She runs a dance company and school by the name of Antara Asthaayi Dance. You can follow her on Facebook and Instagram. She is an avid Halloween fan, and boasts of a home that goes all out in decorations and even hands out full sized chocolate bars to trick-or-treaters!