I No Longer Think a Hero is a Handsome Bollywood Actor. I’ve Grown Up to Realize a Hero is One Who Cares
- We idolize or hero-worship stars in sports and entertainment. Some of us deeply admire scientists, inventors, and physicians. Sometimes, the heroes are not famous, but they touched someone's life and improved it.
When my son was about eight years old, I complimented him on his new shirt and told him that he looked like a hero! He turned around and asked what a hero looked like. I was confused. My Bollywood-watching Indian part of my brain knew what a hero looked like. The hero was obviously the handsome actor from a Hindi movie singing romantic songs with the beautiful heroine, usually around the farmland or the snow. He also was able to beat up all the bad guys singlehandedly. However, the beating up was not what made him a hero. He was called a hero because of his appearance. When people called you a hero in India, they meant that you were handsome.
My son wisely told me that I might see someone and not consider him a hero, but he might save my life. I was very proud of him, of course, but I also realized how some words get stuck in our psyche.
According to Oxford Dictionary, a hero is defined as someone who is admired and idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities. This article by Dr. Saul Levine on Psychology Today provides different examples of what we mean when calling someone a hero or a role model. If someone saves a drowning person, we call them a hero for their bravery. Similarly, we idolize or hero-worship stars in sports and entertainment. Some of us deeply admire scientists, inventors, and physicians (Remember Anthony Fauci?). Some of us admire people with laudable personalities.
These are decent, respectful, compassionate, generous, responsible, and trustworthy. During the very challenging time of Covid-19, we saw so many heroes. We had healthcare professionals and essential workers putting their lives at risk to treat Covid-19 patients.
I realized that I had several heroes, and they changed with time. When I asked my mother who her hero was, her answer was Mahatma Gandhi. She was around seven years old during the 1942 freedom movement in India, but she observed something about him. According to her, everyone in the country listened to Mahatma Gandhi. It made sense because he was the person that led India to its freedom in 1947.
In addition to the inventions and innovations and sports and music, we need people to care about others. If we all remember to be kind to others daily, the world will become a much better place.
Not everyone will agree with our choices of heroes or role models. When we use the term hero, we imagine a larger-than-life and perfect personality that positively impacts many people’s lives. We sometimes project our expectations on them and are disappointed when they fall short. As we all know, and Dr. Levine points out, there are no “perfect people.” Our role models may have impressive characteristics and talents which can sweep us away (at least for a while), but we inevitably learn they have weaknesses and faults. We have to accept that they are human and fallible. So we can celebrate their accomplishments and accept their flaws.
I read this article on IEEE spectrum and became a fan of Rian Tiwarihas from South Brunswick, NJ. He developed a mobile app that uses artificial intelligence to diagnose anemia by scanning pregnant women’s fingernails. I was impressed by the development and how his father advised him to figure out his purpose using ikigai, a Japanese concept. Rian figured out that his purpose was to help through technology.
I was touched by this beautiful story by NPR about a letter Emerson, an eleven-year-old girl from Sioux Falls, SD, wrote to her mailman. It’s a story about the U.S. postal workers working in May 2020 during the height of the pandemic. It is a story about kindness and being seen.
Sometimes, the heroes are not famous, but they touched someone’s life and improved it. Many years ago, a college student met a lonely friend on the NYU College campus. She stepped in to remind the friend that she was not alone. The student continued looking out for this young woman throughout the years. The young woman became a successful writer and acknowledged many years later that she did not transfer out from the school because of the college choir and this friend who believed in her. This is a remarkable story because the young woman thought she had only one friend in college that cared about her. I was so proud of my daughter that day.
In addition to the inventions and innovations and sports and music, we need people to care about others. If we all remember to be kind to others daily, the world will become a much better place.
I love the following quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, the American Transcendentalist poet, philosopher, and essayist during the 19th century:
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of the intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the beauty in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that one life has breathed easier because you lived here. This is to have succeeded.”
Aparajita Misra (Jita) has a Ph.D. in Physics and has worked in the telecommunications industry for most of her career. She is a proud mom of a writer and an entrepreneur. Jita loves to read and build connections with people. You can follow her thoughts at https://aparajita.substack.com/