Befriend Fear, Don’t Fight It: A Mother’s Note to Her Daughter and All Those Starting College
- I realized as an adult that most of the life lessons which help in difficult times are the lessons learned as a child.
It makes me immensely proud today to see all these young men and women right about to start an exciting new phase of life. I am excited even more this year as my oldest is among them — the class of 2026!
Looking forward to seeing her grow and thrive in the years ahead. As much as I am proud of her being independent and a quick learner, I am bound by my good habit of preaching again and again. I know even if she hated and rolled her eyes when I lectured, deep inside she was learning and treasuring all those learnings. Which I didn’t even know until she started using my own tools on me (much needed in many of those times, thanks kiddo) I realized as an adult that most of the life lessons which help in difficult times are the lessons learned as a child. The values and the virtues our parents and the experiences instill in us while we were young, stay with us always. And believe me, they really come in handy.
As always, remember, your parents will be your biggest supporters and fans. They will always want you to climb the ladder of success, but in this age of speed and acceleration, try to slow down. If you are ever exhausted remember, there is always an option of doing less. So, step back when you feel like it and take a break. It won’t hinder your progress, in the long run, it will give an extra boost to propel you into a bright future and will nourish your body, mind, and soul all at once.
Believe in karma. In other words, take responsibility for your actions. Maybe not now, but later in life, you will realize that we all in a way write our own destiny. Where you are, where you want to be, and what path will you choose, are mostly in your hands. There will be tough times when the path in front of you won’t be the easiest but never hesitate to take the difficult path, especially, if it’s a good choice for you in a long run. Always look for a bigger picture and remember, instant gratification weakens the foundation. So, don’t cut corners, work hard, work smart, and remember to breathe. Do good for you and for the world. Love, be kind, drop the ego, forgive (including yourself) easily, and always prioritize your physical and mental health over anything and everything.
Never compare yourself with anyone, as we all are unique and have different stories to tell and different paths to walk.
This is a power-packed paragraph just like a power-green smoothie 😉: Always be honest to yourself. Let go of small things and accept the situations as they are, especially if they are not in your control. Never compare yourself with anyone, as we all are unique and have different stories to tell and different paths to walk. Always choose joy over pleasure — there is always bondage attached to pleasure but as humans, we thrive on freedom and no limitations. Do things you are not good at. In other words, do hard things! Remember, novelty wins over love and intelligence. Any new thing you do/try will stimulate your brain and muscles in a way it has never before. This will keep you healthy and happy at a totally different level. Also, never hesitate to ask for help or advice but be wise enough to know who to seek it from.
Just Breathe: I can’t emphasize enough the benefits of relaxed intentional breathing. Whenever you get time, 5 minutes, or 50 minutes. Breathe. Google different kinds of breathing exercises and try them all! To add some fun, pull in your friends to breathe with you too.
Some of my absolute favorite learnings (my parents kept reminding me of these all the time): Firstly, neki kar dariya mein daal, which means do good without any expectations. Secondly, drink water — no matter what health issue you are going through– drink water and keep gut health in the best possible shape as the gut is the root cause of all illnesses.
Thirdly, anger kills. So, keep those negative emotions in check — be mindful and aware of your emotions. And last but not the least, just like good times never stay forever, neither do bad times. So, whenever you are going through a rough phase, hold on, time will change for sure. Nothing is permanent.
I read somewhere and wrote it down in my journal sometime back so can’t take credit for this but loved it and want to share it. Fear is not there to stop you, it’s there to show you that you’re interested, and you care. So, befriend fear, don’t fight it, because once you do something that scares you, it becomes almost insignificantly small the second time around.
Cherish and surround yourself with people who lift you in a genuine way. You will realize at some point in time that many people don’t respect intelligence, instead, they respect position and power. So don’t let that bother you but instead make friends, who genuinely love and care for you, and love you for the person you are, and not for the labels you have achieved in life. Sounds harsh but I don’t like leaving out realities 😉
So, all you lovely human beings — just be you, with the possibility and curiosity of learning for life and the objective to keep evolving and broadening your horizons.
Your real strength comes from being your best you.
Pooja Singh is a mother of two and a wife for almost 2 decades based in the Minneapolis metro area. Aside from work and enjoying time with her family, she loves to encourage a healthy lifestyle for better physical and mental health. She loves to incorporate yoga into her day-to-day activities rather than just practicing the physical aspect of it. Her dream job is to own a wellness center on a hill facing a happy flowing river.