Are We ‘Great’ Yet? Nope. There’s So Much More to Come, Especially Since a Third Term is a Possibility Now
- The breaking news updates that change by the hour, if not by the minute, are truly breaking me, but here is my attempt to keep things positive.
Alright, I admit, my impatience is growing as we are making an attempt at greatness here. To my friends’ surprise, I was doing so well keeping myself away from politics, preserving my mental health, and generally living my life until I couldn’t anymore.
The this-is-not-on-me approach I promised to take suddenly stopped working the day I watched that dreadful Zelensky-Trump exchange at the White House, and here I am, back to hurting myself from keeping up with the latest. The breaking news updates that change by the hour, if not by the minute, are truly breaking me, but here is my attempt to keep things positive.
At losing friends, I see that we are exceeding expectations, both with count as well as the speed at which we are getting there. One would think that if the humble (and extremely patient) Ukrainian President is not our friend, we could stay assured that Putin is our best buddy. Greatness that we are after, however, requires our fearless leader to be “pissed off” at Putin, too.
We have several ways to get there, and they range from imposing tariffs to simply threatening to annex/take over. We fell out with China, Mexico, and Canada over tariffs, but Canada strikes it big with our offer to become the 51st state, against their will, of course.
All we wanted was to help ourselves to Greenland and its rich minerals, but alas, Denmark isn’t cooperating. But Europe is pathetic anyway, according to our Defense Secretary, which we learned from leaked texts. By the way, I love how transparent we are with our war plans, even civilians get invited to these group chats complete with emojis. I am so proud of our leaders keeping with Gen Z trends, even when they are discussing War Strategy.
Our quest for greatness expands to immigration; we treat legal and illegal immigrants the same. We show great flexibility in sending them to random countries, not just their home, and we even offer handcuffs and leg chains as we deport them. The policy we have in place, which our judges keep reminding us, is so old school and we need freedom to be able to achieve that greatness. We do not need to keep anyone with a free mind, especially those with free minds wanting to exercise their freedom of speech, in our great country.
Since we are keeping all the babies with abortion bans, we have to find other ways to keep the population under control, and misinformation about vaccines is something that is working out great. Schools that are mandating vaccines are not aligned with us and need to be blocked from receiving Federal funds. But why stop with schools? Let’s root out the entire Department of Education.
While we are at it, should we be looking at other federal jobs? We should and we are. Musk’s DOGE is working extra hard on laying off thousands of workers from healthcare and other federal agencies. Who needs libraries, museums, or National Parks anyway, and using inexperienced millennials to fire experienced experts is a stroke of genius. Finally, who wants to work and pay bills anyway (remember Office Space), and it’s not like the employed can afford eggs, cars, or booze!
I admire how our leader takes care of his supporters, so what if they are felons? I got goosebumps when he suggested compensation for pardoned Jan 6 rioters. Equally admirable was the diligence with which he goes after people he sees as his enemies, from judges and law firms to his political opponents, and the ways he uses to torture them, public threats to extortions.
I know this is not comprehensive and is only a subset of all the great things happening to us, but I suggest that you all stay tuned. This is just the beginning — there’s so much more to come, especially since a third term is a possibility now.
Padma Nadella is an IT professional who lives in Eagan, Minnesota, with her husband and 17-year-old son. She manages a Facebook group for Minnesotans to collaborate on events and activities related to health and fitness. The group now has over two thousand members. Jack of all trades, she enjoys playing volleyball, traveling the world, and entertaining, mostly, but dabbles in everything else.