This Ganesh Chaturthi, My Mother Took Her First Steps Into a New life, a New Birth
- For Bou, it was the beginning of another cycle of existence. For me, it is the beginning of a world without her—a world where I must learn to carry her love, her values, her voice in memory through my children and grandchildren.
oOn August 27th, 2025, Ganesh Chaturthi coincided with the 10th day of my mother’s passing. She lived three months short of 90 years and left us on August 18th. The overlap of these two occasions carried profound significance for me.
On August 11th, my oldest brother admitted Bou to Kar Nursing Home in Cuttack after she became unresponsive. Being 10,000 miles away, I arrived in Cuttack on the 14th. I found her lying in a hospital bed, breathing faintly, eyes closed, with a nasal tube and saline drip. When I called, “Bou, bou, mu kie kahilu?” she gave no reply—but her eyelids fluttered, her left hand and leg moved feebly. I knew she felt my presence.
Her hair, usually neatly oiled and tied in a bun, was dry and uncombed. I stood there, helpless. Why wasn’t she speaking? Why did she look so deeply asleep? Doctors spoke of “sensorium issues,” scans, and procedures. Some spoke carelessly, as if she were already gone. My brother and I decided she should not endure painful interventions—no ventilator, no invasive tubes. We wanted her not to endure any pain and leave this world to the world beyond peacefully. I whispered in her ear: “Bou, I make you free. You decide what is best for you, without worrying about your children, as you have sacrificed for us all your life.”
On the morning of August 18th, I reached the hospital around 9:30 am. The floor near the little Ganesh idol at the entrance had been freshly washed for an elaborate Monday puja. But upstairs, in the ICU, my mother was breathing her last. Her face was calm, her forehead still warm under my hand.
Just as Ganesh clears obstacles and blesses fresh starts, I too must embrace a new path—living forward with gratitude, love, courage, and the hope of renewal.
That same morning, my brother and I became the pallbearers and carried her to the Khannagar funeral ground, where my father and brothers had also been cremated. I poured water over my head to purify myself before giving her mukhagni. My brother said, “Bou loves you,” and guided me to perform the final ritual, traditionally reserved for sons. As the fire consumed her, the afternoon aarati began at the nearby Kali temple. The drums, the bells, and the sound of the Mridangam rose with the flames, as if the gods and goddesses themselves were welcoming her spirit. She did not resist the fire—she accepted it.
Ten days later came Dasaha, the ritual of cleansing and renewal. At the banks of the Mahanadi, my brother, guided by the priest, offered food for her soul. The flowing river, the grazing cows, the drifting boats—all bore witness, as if my mother herself was merging into the mighty Mahanadi. The riverbank was full of people, from our village and extended family. They remembered her as the kindest soul and how she had helped them in so many ways. That night, a lamp was placed on a mound of sand, covered by an earthen pot with small holes. Through the night, its light glowed, guiding her soul forward. By morning, we saw human footprints in the sand. For us, it was a divine sign: my mother had taken her first steps into a new life, a new birth.
Ganesh Chaturthi, too, is about new beginnings. Every ritual in Hindu life starts with the invocation of Ganesh—the remover of obstacles, the giver of wisdom, the childlike god who blesses learning, laughter, and life itself. Growing up, I remember placing my notebooks before Ganesh during Chaturthi, seeking his blessings before beginning studies. In 2025, Ganesh blessed me in a different way—by aligning his festival with my mother’s passage into a new life.
For Bou, it was the beginning of another cycle of existence. For me, it is the beginning of a world without her—a world where I must learn to carry her love, her values, her voice in memory through my children and grandchildren, even without her physical presence. The coincidence of Ganesh Chaturthi with her Dasaha has given me strength, courage, and determination to stay strong and spread her love and kindness. Just as Ganesh clears obstacles and blesses fresh starts, I too must embrace a new path—living forward with gratitude, love, courage, and the hope of renewal.
(Top image courtesy of Asian Indian Funeral Service)
Annapurna Devi Pandey teaches Cultural Anthropology at the University of California, Santa Cruz. She holds a Ph.D. in sociology from Jawaharlal Nehru University, New Delhi, and was a postdoctoral fellow in social anthropology at Cambridge University, the U.K. Her current research interests include diaspora studies, South Asian religions, and immigrant women’s identity-making in the diaspora in California. In 2017-18 she received a Fulbright scholarship for fieldwork in India. Dr. Pandey is also an accomplished documentary filmmaker. Her 2018 award-winning documentary “Road to Zuni,” dealt with the importance of oral traditions among Native Americans.